Permission to Speak

I'm firing off some thoughts quickly here before I go to bed because I'll have lost my train of thought by morning.

For some quick background, I've spent the last couple of years feeling reasonably despondent toward church. It's not that I've felt distant from God or fallen out with anyone in my church family...it's just been a feeling of vague disconnection from church life. I tried going around other churches for a while (a year in fact) and ended up back at my home church having not really found what I was looking for. That all led up to tonight where I met up with a couple of guys who I've had a prayer cell with for years. And I left feeling more encouraged, passionate and enthusiastic about my spiritual life than I have in a long time.

And all that happened was we talked.

We were having a chat about things we would like prayer for, and I explained that I felt this disconnection, and for the next hour we talked about it.

I know this sounds very simple, but I think a lot of people don't have access to open discussion about where they're at.

A few years ago I did a bit of a 180 regarding my views on homosexuality. I was brought up in a church environment and was taught that it was sinful. The Bible backed it up and I never questioned it. But like many Christians, I reached a point where I had to assess why I really believed it, and without going into the details, I ended up on the other side of the fence. When that happens, you are in a strange place in church life. There are a lot of people you feel you shouldn't mention that to. And over the last couple of years the more things I've started to question, the more I found myself struggling with the inability to say certain things and express certain views in church. Not to say that nobody within the church is willing to have a discussion, but I sometimes feel like churches are akin to country clubs. If you're the right type of person who acts the right way, you're welcome into the club. But if you don't fit in perfectly you'll find it difficult to be a part of the group.

This can be pretty devastating to people's faith. If someone's not free to work out what they believe and why, then they don't really believe anything. If people believe what they believe purely because that's what it takes to be part of church, then they don't have a faith. And that's why whenever I was able to have a totally honest and open conversation about what's been on my mind spiritually it was such a relief.

Churches should be the place where people are able to open up and be honest. We should be fostering an environment where people are able to build a concrete relationship with God that they are confident in. And if you feel defensive whenever someone expresses a different opinion or asks a question you feel is dangerous, then I'd implore you to ask whether your reaction is going to help or hurt. Experience new things. Listen to the opposition to your views. I've known a fair few people who have chosen to drift away from their faith rather than talk to someone about it, and if we were a church that allowed people to ask questions and share their opinions I don't think that would be the case...