Light in the Dark

Just over a year ago I got a craving to do something. I wanted to shed all modern comfort. I wanted to go somewhere where I would encounter the most godless people and situations. Somewhere were the rain beats the earth into an uninhabitable state. Somewhere that would truly test my ability to cope with the conditions.

As such I went to Oxegen music festival.

I absolutely loved Oxegen. I am returning this year and can't wait for it. However it would be fair to say, it's a good thing Summer Madness is right before it because you certainly jump into a sinful place! Don't get me wrong, the rumours of violence and danger are totally untrue, it's a very friendly place, but you are constantly surrounded by drinking, drug use and sexual promiscuity from the moment you enter the grounds to the moment you leave. And yet there was a moment in that weekend that will stick with me to my dying day.

On the Sunday night Sproule and I went to see Mumford & Sons. We had seen about twenty bands over the weekend, we were tired, unwashed and while it's not the way it should be, we had become climatized to the sin around us. Mumford & Sons were the last band we would see that weekend and it was a truly incredible gig. Then they started to play a song off their album called Awake My Soul, and it was a very unusual experience. To anyone who doesn't know the track, it canters along in their lovely folk style, and then finishes with a stomping chant. And at that point in the song 8,000 people packed inside a massive tent all raised their hands and sang in unison 'Awake my soul, for you were made to meet your maker.' Most of the band's lyrics come with spiritual undertones and as I understand it Marcus Mumford is indeed a Christian, but it was a strange moment to see so many people who were living in such an ungodly way sing such godly lyrics. Obviously the words were not sung by the people in any kind of worshipful sense, but it stuck with me as a reminder that God's light not only breaks into dark situations, but in fact that is where it is the most noticable.

I have mentioned to many people that I have attended or am attending Oxegen and their response, while never condemning or judgemental, is that they wouldn't go to a music festival because a lot of what goes on there contrasts with their spiritual views. Fair enough. I don't go to clubs for that reason (and the fact that the music is the worst thing about the world). But how often do I pray God's light into clubs? How often do people pray for the people who go to a music festival to drink themselves stupid or take substances to help them forget about the rest of their lives? We can all list places in Belfast (or wherever we live) that we wouldn't like to walk through on a dark night but how often do we pray for them? There is so much that Christians can readily identify as not of God, but we never seem to want to change that. Maybe it's because we forget that God's power is greater than our own and He can change what we can't. Or maybe we automatically assume that if we don't want anything to do with it neither does God.

But these aren't the truth.

The truth is that God wants the whole world to be His. One day every tongue will confess You are God, one day every knee will bow. We sing these words, we should also mean them. We shouldn't just be praying for and reaching out to the contemplative people who we occassionally chat to about our faith, but also those who live every day of their lives directly in opposition to us.

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

John 3:17

In a world that offers so much evil and glorifies a person's right to do what they like, it's hard to believe that the situation can really be made right, but we have to believe that the slightest touch of God on a life, whether it's a discussion that arises in the workplace, or song lyrics sung to a huge crowd some rainy evening in Ireland, can radically change a situation.

The Modern Worship Scene

I imagine that many of you would be familiar with contemporary Christian music whether you listen to CDs or sing the songs in church. You may even know your Tomlins from your Redmans better than I do. Now I've found myself in many an argument in the past based on my musical preference, but lately Christian music has just been driving me up the wall and I'm venting :)

Over the years I have steadily collected a vast library of music, a fair portion of which is worship music. For the longest time I've listened to these records happily, some of them I have played to death, some I have used in our youth fellowship, and there was always a flicker of excitement when a new song was used in a church service and I thought, 'I know this one!' Lately though, this has become less and less the case.

I can't honestly be the only person who's noticed that the lyrics of every Christian song these days are exactly the same? The same shallow, uninspiring phrases shared back and forth between the writers. I'm thinking largely of Chris Tomlin's Our God as I write this. (I'm genuinely not looking to single anyone out, that's just what crept up on my iPod on the way to College this morning.) A couple of references to things Christ did and then a list of comparative terms describing God. And that carries on throughout the entire album. It feels as if some songwriters just scribble down a handful of clichés, throw them up in that air and go with whatever order they land in.

Now I mentioned that I've been in arguments before around music, and they usually find me trying to point out that Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Tinie Tempah... (the list is endless) are shallow momentary celebrities and nothing more. A big part of this is to do with the lyrics, which are consistently empty and devoid of any meaning or originality. (Not that this is the fault of the singer in question. I mean come on, it's not like they write them) So I accept that other people may feel differently about the importance of the lyrics in a song from myself, but surely nobody could deny the importance of what we sing when we are praising God? Surely that is of a greater importance than what we listen to on the radio?

Another thing that I've found trying is the epic and theatrical nature of these songs. Again, not pointing fingers at specific people, but last year a group of us went to see Hillsong United performing at Whitewell Tabernacle in Belfast. It was a hugely enjoyable night and a great gig, but it was just that. A gig. As I stood there, singing along and watching the lasers and flashing light, becoming slightly engulfed in the output of the smoke machines, I kept thinking to myself, "this is how they do church." Every Sunday, these lights, effects and pyrotechnics. The choir of twenty people providing swells and overwhelming background sounds. The string orchestra brought on to highlight the emotionasl pinacle of each song.

Not so long ago a Christian bookshop in Belfast closed down and in their everything-must-go sale I picked up a few albums. There was a Hillsong acoutic set, the new Chris Tomlin, a Michael W Smith one and a Paul Baloche album from a few years back. The first three all fell into this category, with songs builing up to that emotional moment, where you could just picture the lights exploding on and everyone throwing their hands into the air for the final chorus. Songs that wouldn't be out of place at Glastonbury. The last one however, reminded me of what worship music can be. Paul Baloche's 'Live In Asia' is just a typical five-piece band praising God across the world, and it's an outstanding experience. There was no attempt to push the audience into feeling emotional or responding the way the leader wanted, just honest and beautiful songs written in worship.

And this is why Paul Baloche is not the household name that Tomlin is. Paul Baloche wrote the song Open The Eyes Of My Heart, which according to CCLI was at one point number 2 in the list of songs most widely sung in churches worldwide. Also on that list was Baloche's Above All (number 22). Yet Baloche has not sought the same status of Christian rockstar that so many others have. Somebody recently told me about a trip they had made to the church of a well-known Christian singer. The worship band played they're songs and everyone sang along. Standard church service, yes? But then, the artist came on, and the band left while the singer was greeted with cheering and screaming from the audience. Is this church? Is God glorified by one person being idolised? I see this at Summer Madness every year as well, certain artists who reach a point in the Christian scene attract a fanbase, and as soon as that happens things are in danger. If you give in to that success then you are no longer solely trying to glorify God, but meet people's expectations and hold on to the admiration of man. Do we really believe Chris Tomlin didn't spend a portion of his songwriting time for the new album thinking about how to best please his devoted following? How his fans would recieve this new music? How well it would go down on the tour to promote the record?

I'm well aware that I am offering no answers to any of these problems, and I don't think there really are any finite answers out there to problems like this. It's just one person's opinion, and it's just his way of mulling the thoughts over: plastering them on the internet ;)

My recent struggle

I still remember it like it was yesterday. For the most part, it was yesterday.

On Sunday evening after the church service a few of us retired to a friends house and had a relaxed evening of games, tea and chatting. And then it happened. I didn't even notice it at the time. I got up, said my goodbyes and left. Not until I arrived back at home and was walking up the stairs sis I reach into my pocket. I found nothing. I checked my other pockets, then growing nervous I raced back out to the car. Not there either. I tore open my bag, knowing I would never have put it there, but in desperation I threw everything else to the floor and dug to the bottom. Nothing.

This was how I started a 24-hour period without my iPhone.

The sad thing is that while it sounds like I'm making the ordeal a lot more dramatic than it actually was, I'm really not. I genuinely ran about the house, furiously retracing my steps over and over again, even after I was sure I must have left it at the friend's house. I didn't want this to be the case because I wasn't sure if I would see her for the next few days and I wasn't prepared to go that long without my phone. I went for the best part of yesterday without it and it was eventually returned to me Monday evening 9.13 GMT.

And even then it had run out of battery.

Only after I once again had it in my possession and had returned to sanity did I begin to realise the situation. I honestly struggled to make it a day without my phone. Several times I thought of texting various people out of nothing but boredom then remembered I couldn't. I couldn't use Twitter, I couldn't check my email, I couldn't look up cinema times...there were an awful lot of things I wanted to do, that I would do most days, that I suddenly found myself unable to do...and my life fell apart.

How much do we invest in things like mobile phones without even realising it?

It doesn't even need to be a phone, what about laptops? MP3 players? Or cars? I've heard many people complain about how much more difficult their lives become when their car is away getting repaired.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6:19-21

The thing is, I actually use my mobile phone for an awful lot of churchy things. I text back and forth organizing worship team practises, I don't have internet in the house at the minute so I do all my emailing with church folks via the phone, I follow Pete Grieg and Ken Castor on Twitter because they always have something helpful and spiritual to say which is nice on a troublesome day, and on top of that there are any number of apps allowing me to carry the entire Bible around.

But what I'm realising is: that isn't necessarily a good thing.

What does it say about my Christian faith or my current standing with God that my spiritual life relies so heavily on an earthly treasure? And an earthly treasure at £300 no less! Are our treasures in heaven or on earth?

Orangefield: The Movie

A little break from random issues that have been on my mind. Gary and myself discussed who would play the central cast in a movie of Orangefield Presbyterian Church, based on either looks or personality or both. Suzi Finlay made out a list a while ago but I couldn't remember any of them! Any better suggestions or if you have somebody who isn't on the list then leave a comment.

Gareth Shaw "Michael J Fox"
Jonny Tweedie "Michael C Hall" (you know, Dexter)
Graham Moucka "Dana Carvey" (Garth from Wayne's World)
Robin Jamison "John Goodman"
Alex Clarke "Elizabeth Olsen"
Glenn Harrison "Dylan Moran"
Andrew McCallum "Paul Dano"
Michael Jordan "Jason Biggs"
Alan Tweedie "Nick Frost"
Hannah Douglas "Katie Holmes"
Steven Nelson "Lee Evans"
Sam Lamont "Robbie Coltraine"
Stephen Simpson "Josh Radnor" (Ted Mosby)
Suzanne Simpson "Tina Fey"
Miranda Crawford "Chloe Moretz"
Dean Francis "Cillian Murphy"
Laura Campbell "Helena Bonham Carter"
Anna McAdams "Ellen Paige"
Katie Entwistle "Sarah Chalke" (Elliot from Scrubs)
Phil Douglas "Zac Efron"
Jon Campbell "Elijah Wood"
Emma Entwistle "Evanna Lynch" (Luna Lovegood)
Robbie Jennings "Zach Galifianakis"
Jonny Elliott "Tom Cruise"
David Sproule "Seth Rogen"
Ken McBride "Mufasa the Lion"

Anybody left out, it's either because we couldn't think of somebody worthy enough to portray you, or we're harbouring some long-standing grudge against you :)

UPDATE:
Dave Whitcroft "Bill Bailey"
Anna Shields "Audrey Tautou"
Mark Smyth "Matt LeBlanc"
Sam Clarke "Alan 'Steve the Pirate' Tudyk"
Pete Ryan "John Candy"
Niall Francis "Joaquin Phoenix"

UPDATED ONCE AGAIN:
Olivia Blakley "Zooey Deschanel"
Keith Lunn "Ryan Gosling"
David Allison "Woody Allen"
Nicola Clarke "Halle Berry"
Stephen Douglas "William Shatner"
William McCollum "James Buckley" (Jay from The Inbetweeners)
Sarah Sloss "Emily Blunt"
Tom Coard "Michael MacIntyre"
Ben McMechan "Michael Cera"
Mark Dawson "Paul O'Grady"
Stephen Ellis "Jim Parsons"
George Sproule "Hugh Laurie"
Abigail Crawford "Elle Fanning"
Keith Crawford "Kelsey Grammar"
Marty Sloss "Mike Myers"
Kirsten Shields "Keira Knightley"
Megan Jamison ?
Craig Blair "Peter Kay"
Catherine Bailey "Emma Stone"
Keith Trimble "David Duchovny"

What shall I watch?

Raising an issue here that has been talked about by Christians forever, hoping that maybe someone can throw in their two cents!

I was watching a film last night, and I did something I have never done before. I switched it off because of the sexual content. Now, anyone who knows me knows of my unflinching addiction to films. I have collected around 300 DVDs which sit in my bedroom and I would head to the cinema about once a week (and that's not even getting into TV boxsets!). So I have reached the age of 22 and have seen thousands of films in my time, yet this is the one experience I have had where my viewing has been altered by the content to the point of me refusing to watch any further. At the other end of the spectrum, I have a close friend who walked out of the cinema when a group of us had gone to see a film on the grounds that it contained too much bad language. We both claim to be Christians, yet our view on what it is right to watch is radically different. Surely this is not okay, that the body of Christ is so divided in it's view of Christian living?

When it comes to sexual content in a film, many Christians refer to it as pornography. I have heard Christians in the past refer to the TV show Friends with the term, as well as various films which involve racy storylines or images. The secular world, on the other hand, have a somewhat different view on what constitutes pornography, one which would almost certainly not contain Friends. So what is pornography? What makes something pornographic? The World English Dictionary defines it as 'writings, pictures, filmes etc. designed to stimulate sexual excitement.' If this is true then not only are the seedy films in the top corner of HMV porn but so are many other things, including about 75% of the adverts on television! By that logic Christians should be avoiding the vast majority of films and TV shows that exist nowadays.

In the Bible we are told by Christ, "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'" (Matt 15:11). Now if we take this to be Jesus talking about more than simply the Kosher laws, then we understand that it is a Christians deeds that set him or her apart. I am not implying that nothing we take in has any value or importance of course, but I can't help thinking that if I can watch a film with questionable content without feeling the need to go out and repeat them or let them have a direct influence on my lifestyle then there is no danger.

Take a standard pornographic film, the kind that comes taped to the magazine on the top shelf. If I am to buy it, watch it and become sexually stimulated by it then we can all agree (I would hope!) that this is a sinful and wrong situation. Now, the DVD in my player is not some kind of evil DVD. The camera that shot the acts in question is not an evil camera. The people involved aren't even evil people, they are simply lost prodigal children of God. What is evil is the lust and desire that the film brings up in human people. It influences their life in a negative way, and if that is true then the film is to be avoided. By that same logic, if someone finds themselves watching X Factor purely because they lust after Cheryl Cole, then they should avoid that show for the very same reason! I like to think that if I found myself watching certain things for that particular reason that I would have the sense and the strength to stop. Likewise if I found that watching certain things led to me using bad language or acting in any way unbefitting to a child of God that I could put a stop to it.Surely the only reason for not putting yourself through something is because it will have a negative effect on who you are and how you live?

But maybe I have it completely wrong, feel free to leave an opinion whether you agree, disagree or just aren't sure!

Prayer for the Church

I was listening to a song earlier in the week by Vineyard songwriter Jeremy Riddle entitle Prayer for the Church, in which he sings of the different states the church often finds itself in (such as times of strength, weakness etc) and asks God for the appropriate response through prayer. As I listened to it I became painfully aware of how little time I spend praying for my church. God has blessed me greatly with the people that surround me every Sunday and yet I devote almost none of my quiet times or moments spent in prayer meetings to that body of people. Don't get me wrong, I will pray for a friend going through a hard time or a group in the church that's struggling, but I can't remember the last time I prayed for the congregation of Orangefield Presbyterian as a whole.

I am of the opinion that Christians who don't go to church because they believe they can serve God anywhere and don't have to confine they're experience to a building on one morning of the week are fooling themselves. I don't doubt that everyone (if there is anyone!) reading this is fully aware of the meaning of and reasoning behind a church: it is meant to be more than simply a place where we can meet to worship a God we individually serve, but a family of people, bound together by the blood that was shed for them. It is a communal thing. People are very much aware of this, because they have been told it over and over again. This, in itself, is dangerous. The more we hear something, especially it would seem, something that is about our Christian life, the less important it seems to us. Let's face it, with each Easter service it gets harder and harder to experience the same joy about the resurrection. Each Christmas we get more complacent with the importance of the birth of a Saviour. We know these things inside out, and therefore we think about them less.

The result is of course that we are quick to notice the personal gain in the idea of a church, but we overlook the challenge. Group worship to give us a sense of family? Check. People to go to if I'm in trouble and need a chat or a prayer? Check. A multitude of groups to keep me focused? Check. The list goes on and on, and never let it be said that the church is not a blessing for all these reasons and more. But how often do we see the challenge in being a part of a church?

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. Acts 20:28

Sometimes we are not to be the one in need of prayer but the one praying for others. Sometimes we have to offer something in a group rather than only take. Personally if I look at my own church life I'm very rarely a shepherd, and I suspect I'm not the only one.

I'm currently trying to pray more for my church, and for those who have not heard the song I mentioned earlier, the lyrics of the bridge say of the church,


Now she's shining
Her light is blinding as she sings Your name
Now she's beauty
Up from the ashes, Your love is on her face 

I guess it's plain and simple: If this doesn't sound like the church you're currently a part of, then prayer is desperately needed. I say desperately because desperation is something we so rarely feel about our calling. The song speaks of small divisions, moral crises and things which nibble away at churches; things which need to be prayed against, until His love is on the face of our churches.

When I Survey

I wonder if you ever have a moment during worship music when you suddenly become aware of what you're singing and what it actually means. I often have these moments and it makes me realise how much of my time spent in worship at church or college is wasted due to simply not coming with the proper attitude. How many church services do we stand and sit without actually meditating on the words we sing?

The most recent instance I speak of was when our church was singing When I Survey. I have led this song in various places many times as well as singing it in church all my life, and as such I have become completely complacent when singing it. This time I didn't particularly pay attention to it until it was almost over. The final two lines of the song suddenly jumped out at me.

Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

There was so much power and meaning in those two lines that I'm not even convinced I would make it that far if I had been singing the song in total honesty. What a declaration! How can we possibly be half-hearted or bored when we sing about the amazing nature of God? David danced before the city about it, Paul and Silas sang in prison chains about it, what has happened that we stand in what we insist is a family unit together and sing these words with a lack of enthusiasm. Surely this is something that has to be addressed?

These words list things which we must hand over if we wish to be a part of thise amazing love (demand; not just something that is recommended or that might help, but essential), our soul, our life, everything about us. When we become a Christian, is it unfair to say that we get as far as the first one and then stop? We happily offer our soul to Him so that He can save us and ensure the blissful reunion we are promised, but after this we struggle to hold up our end of the bargain. Can any of us really say that we happily give our whole life to Him? That everytrhing about us starts and ends with God? I mean it can't just be me that notices how all modern worship songs seem to sing of how glorious and wonderful God is, draining our vocabulary of superlatives to use for Him. It's almost as if we fear to sing about ourselves or our part in these songs because that will highlight how far short we fall.

The next time you stand in church, try and focus on each word you sing and hopefully this will shine a light over your life revealing the work that needs to be done. Otherwise we just carry on with blinders on our eyes.